I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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