You made me cry and you don't even care
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
