I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This is classic penis vs brain.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
