So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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