ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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