yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
