I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
