i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
