i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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