If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
