it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
