omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just invented taco cereal.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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