carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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