I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize