Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
