I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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