the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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