You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
