1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
