is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
