Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
