i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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