butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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