from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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