Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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