apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
