Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
