im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
