naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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