are you so shy because you have an std?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
