the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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