wanna go halves on a baby?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
