I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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