You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
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