Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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