omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
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I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
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People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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