Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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