did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
