My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
