Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
