I didn't shave. On purpose
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
