Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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