Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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