Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think my moral compass just broke
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
