Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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