I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
