Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I need water and some morals
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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