Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
