Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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