i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Drunk is a universal language darling
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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