never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
