Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
