just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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