My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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