These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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