So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen