hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
