I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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