Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
