I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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