Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
