The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
