please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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